Lillian Ethel West was born on December 14, 1932 in Garfield, New Jersey. Her parents were the late Artemus "Doc" West and Lidie Belle Ready both from South Carolina.
Lillian's 2 daughters are Sheryl Starr West of the Bronx, NY and Dawn Iris West of Paterson, NJ. She loved us both dearly as she is still loved. Lillian lovingly named her 2 daughters, using the less common S for Sheryl and the extra R for Starr. The simplicity of the name Dawn Iris West is easy for me to combine into the unique "dawniris" at times. Short and sweet is the names she gave us.
Lillian's nickname was "Lil" to family and all who knew her; a few called her Lilly/Lily and others called her Miss Lillian. To her 2 daughters, she is Mom, Mommy, Mommy Lil or Lil - all said with affection and love - a term of endearment - because Lil was a loving and devoted mother, grandmother and daughter. She did not like her middle name Ethel, so she didn't use it much; she embraced her nickname Lil.
Lillian was preceded in death by her parents Artemus and Lidie; her grandson Marquise Tooley; her siblings Orabell Nickelson, Mamie Davis, Artemus "Sonny" West, Jr. and William Henry "Tootsie/Tutsie" or "Bill" West.
Lillian is survived by her 2 daughters (Sheryl and Dawn); 2 younger siblings Flora Dixon of Chicago and Lawrence West (wife Majla) of Summerville, SC. She is also survived by in - laws: Gloria West and Christine West; like a sister in law Betty Block - all 3 NJ; she is survived by many nieces, nephews, grand and great nieces and nephews, etc. She is also survived by friends and neighbors. Lillian lived in the same apartment for 58 years, with a long-standing good reputation, being neighborly, respectful, kind, etc. so she has some neighbors who are neighbors who are friends or also like family.
Lillian was a talented, self-taught seamstress. She didn't seek fame and fortune, but she was known for her creativity and generosity. She didn't have a lot, didn't have much money but she would often generously make something for her family, the kids, etc. without charge.
Lillian could make a way out of no way in all situations. She also applied that to her talent: she could take scraps and piece it together to make an outfit out of it. She didn't quilt but all of her outfits were much like quilts: made with love and with a story to tell.
Lillian loved to laugh, had a good sense of humor - but she knew when to be serious.
Lillian was not involved in a lot of groups or organizations in her lifetime. But that is okay because she was still involved with people - those she loved. She was deeply caring and was accessible to others.
She didn't have a lot but she shared anything she could with others via donations of her walkers, rollators, transport chair, clothes, etc. over the years - things that she no longer could use, but that which was still in good condition, clean - because she was supportive, compassionate and aimed to uplift others.If she was ever on the receiving end of kindness, she was appreciative and expressed that as well.
Lillian's lifetime character of 91 years, before her sickness is amazing. As I would tell her throughout her life and most recently as she was sick and apparently dying, I repeated to her, hoping she could hear me tell her how much I love her. I also told Lillian that she was amazing. That she was beautiful, remarkable, wonderful, thoughtful. She was phenomenal and respectful.
After her sickness, she demonstrated fight and determination despite the suffering she went through for the last few months. She was strong, a survivor.
Lillian was also loving, kind, devoted, compassionate, resilient, patient. She was also forgiving, understanding, caring and most of all - loving.
Lillian was a quiet but friendly lady, a peaceful person. She expressed graciousness - gratefulness and thankfulness - to God and to others. She would say thank you and be very grateful for any degree of kindness anyone extended to her and for whatever she did have, even when she didn't have much.
She would thank anyone who did or said anything that helped her in any way. So she would want those who ever were kind, caring, loving or serving her in any way, including the caregivers in hospital and rehab - anyone who treated her with all of the humanity, dignity that she deserved - sick or well - thank you. She was a gracious lady.
Lillian was a humble person. Her love for creativity and making things by her self-taught hands to style outfits better than many trained designers - and the praise she got from her talents - did not make her ego swell. She remained humble.
Her lack of sight with very low vision in both eyes all her life (wore thick glasses until eye diseases like macular degeneration made them worse) and her lack of hearing did not interfere with her intelligence; she was smart and loved to read all kinds of books, magazines, newspapers. She stayed informed on the news, not on gossip. She took her daughters and grandson to the library as she encouraged education. She went back to school - to college at some point - trying to continue her education. But her lack of hearing sabotaged her finish despite her getting good grades due to her hard work and efforts at the time.
During her hospital and rehab (physical/occupational) stays, she, lying flat on her back, had to absorb looking at all these strange faces as she read what they wrote in large letters on the white board I (Dawn) supplied for them to communicate with her due to her low vision and low hearing. She was amazing, remarkable. How she managed to read, comprehend most of the time what we all wrote - while she suffered - is remarkable. Despite her very low vision and dropped eyelids, she "read" us all. Amazing.
I loved how she would say her name when asked: Lillian (while looking at us like we strange because - why we asking her about HER name? (smile) - as long as she could answer. But, no matter what, she knew who she was.
She was determined and resourceful but peaceful.
She did everything she needed to do and more for her 2 daughters, her late grandson and her mom Moe.
Me and Sheryl are very grateful, thankful, blessed that mommy Lil was our mother.
Lillian Ethel West, preferred Lillian West but known mostly as Lil but loved by her daughters as mom, mommy - passed away in the morning, on Monday, December 9, 2024 - at home, not alone - and where she wanted to be.
Rest in peace dear mommy Lil. Until we meet again......